Log in

31 December 2012 @ 09:00 pm
2012 in Review  
So I thought my LJ had gotten deleted or something--turns out the email that I was previously using was out of commission. What even! I don't even know if I should keep this blog or go to my Tumblr. But Tumblr isn't good for long and personal blogs. And I don't want to start a Wordpress like everyone else. Or a Blogger account. I feel like I'd be putting on a show for someone, and I've have to pay attention to my writing style or something, whereas here I've only ever been myself.

So, I was thinking about 2012 this year. It was supposed to be the best year ever. I started out so hopeful and feeling so grown up. I went back to school, and things kind of went from there.

In January, I went back to school and I was so excited! My shows were good, I was writing again, I had this awesome boyfriend, and I felt grown up, like I was ready to take on so many things. Maybe I should have known better. I feel like there's the recurring theme with everything that every time you feel like you can take on anything, something happens that puts you back in your place. So, I get back to school, and a few days in, my boyfriend broke up with me because of the things with his dad. And...I hate to think that I'm one of those people that has something like that happen and derails...though, I suppose that I didn't fly completely off the handle. But it certainly set the tone for my life for the next few months.

So, the next few months were...weird. I met a bunch of new people. I drank more than usual. I met a lot of people while I was drinking more than usual. I took a lot of science classes. I played around with my mother's dreams for me to see if they were viable. I had a television-worthy reunion with the boyfriend over Mardi Gras, which has become a huge part of my life and always (not surprisingly, but surprisingly for me because things of the interesting variety are not usually things that happen to me). I got mono. I went to class all through having mono. I got B's in a couple of classes I should have gotten A's in because of the mono.

Fuck mono.

I worked at a battered women and children's shelter. I made the decision to remain in New Orleans for the summer, which also didn't work out very well because I've discovered that Kylee and New Orleans just don't mix. At all. I went to Jamaica, which was kind of weird because it's the place where the boyfriend had decided to break up with me, but it was still a great experience, one that I couldn't replace for anything. I saw Dunn's River Falls (aka my waterfall), and I think I made some kind of peace.

I came back from Jamaica. The boyfriend and I officially reconciled. His dad died, which was complicated deja vu for me, but it wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. I had a horrible summer with a horrible roommate, but that helped me bond with some of my other friends, so it turned out okay. I decided that I would figure out my life on my own terms and stop letting people make my decisions for me.

I got back to school and got cut off from half of my friends with this weird dispute I had with this girl over the boyfriend. She turned out to be worse (person-wise) than I thought, but we agreed to try to coexist. I joined a sorority. Life kind of flipped around because it was good for me but not-so-good for the friends who'd helped me through The Dark Time. So I turned around and ended up being the opposite of the mess that I was at the beginning of the year. I was able to help people out, which was great.

I got picked to give a talk at our school's big retreat, where I essentially talked about my life journey over the past 9 years. It was the first time I ever addressed my eating disorder out loud. And, naturally, my family factored into the equation. I cried a lot and played a good song, but it felt like I was continuing to climb out of the proverbial hole I've been in for the past...all of the years. So many years.


I got a position within my sorority, looking over people's grades and such. It was weird for me because I don't think I have very good leadership skills. I really started to rethink my major and career choices. I got serious about the television writing and am working on a pilot now. It's the first time I've written, really written, and felt inspired in a while. Not so sure about the science. It's a little frustrating that I've been kind of running around in the same circle for what feels like forever. But I'm hopeful. I'm always a little bit hopeful. And hopefully, around the same time next year, I can look back and realize that I've moved...somewhere.

As for what I've been doing over break...mourning the loss of Leverage. It's totally sucked. We got the cancellation notice so late that the network didn't even have time to advertise (though they've sucked at advertising in general and killed the series and I AM SO ANGRY RAWR) the series finale as the series finale. They said it was the season finale. No great LAST SEASON FINAL SEASON sendoff. :( I got sick. I wrote things. I played a lot of video games.

My sister crashed the car a couple months ago, and my mom just bought her a new one. I'm kind of weird about it because my mom bought a new house and a new car, and I think the whole Kylee-doesn't-get-to-go-the-college-she-wants thing is always going to be a little bit sore, especially since her main concern was money and location, and I don't like the location (and she does too--she HATES New Orleans). And then she has the money to buy all this stuff. And I had a huge scholarship to pretty much everywhere. My mom says that the car is for the both of us, but I'm really not around that much. I'm even letting Potato drive it most of the time. I don't know. I think my mom feels bad. But I'm going through a thing and I'm not ready for things to be okay yet.

I love the "Auld Lang Syne" on the Hotel Cafe Presents Winter Songs CD. Y'all should listen to it tonight. I wish all of you a happy new year and again want to thank you guys for being there so many years ago while I was in high school and growing up. Y'all gave me something else to do and other people to talk to instead of the not-so-good people I was hanging out with at the time. ♥
Brandy: kibbs // comfort in your armssatanic_viper on January 1st, 2013 11:29 pm (UTC)
Lots and lots of hugs for my SPTT. *huggles*
Sparkle: Moment of Truthhope_sparkles on January 2nd, 2013 04:06 am (UTC)
Thanks! I really do feel like it was one of the better years but it was still full of growth and weird stuff. :P When do I get all happy and boring haha?

Though I'm not sure if I'd prefer that or not.
Brandy: enchanted // everyone deserves a happy esatanic_viper on January 2nd, 2013 08:42 am (UTC)
Sometimes I feel like "happy and boring" is just a pipe dream. Life always has a way of turning everything upside down when you least expect it. Oh well, just means more adventure and risk taking :P.